Monday, August 15, 2011

a few steps back

Today I woke up sad.

I feel like I drempt about Brian but I can't remember my dream. From the instant I woke up it was gone. I do remember hearing what I thought was Him telling me to stop snoozing because it was 7 am already.

I cried several times at work. I have been really emotional. Tomorrow is my baby's birthday. He would be 25 years old. It all just seems so real. so much more real. I haven't been to the gym since thursday and maybe that's the difference in my moods. I'm going back tomorrow though. I have tomorrow off work, that will be nice.

Brian's friends and I have organized a birthday dinner in his honor. Everyone wants to make it a tradition. I really love that. I know I will do it every year, do something.

On a lighter note. My sister and I moved into our room today. Yes, I am sharing a room with my sister now. I'm not ready to be all alone in my own room just yet. It's really hard. I don't want to isolate myself at all and alone in a room would be too easy. Anyhow, we are having fun with it for now. Bringing all our stuff in and sorting stuff. It's helping my mind stay occupied.

Sharing a room with my sister is fun except for the fact that she is making me watch celebrity ghost stories right now and it's freaking me out! hahaha!

goodnight world!

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