I had this friend that I have known for about five years. She is younger than me by a couple of years. I met her through myspace because she was dating this guy that I was starting to hang out with. We had a lot of mutual friends and she messaged me and we started texting and hanging out. It turns out she was on drugs. UGH! Do i hate drugs! She was a good person though and we had fun talking to each other. I ended up renting a room from her nana and shortly after she realized she was four (!!) months pregnant. We became best friends over this time because all of her friends wanted nothing to do with her. She wasn't going to be "fun" anymore. I felt bad for her because she was very sweet and really hurt by her friends.
Fast forward to now. Her child is the cutest little girl I've ever seen and is going to be four this year. I have watched her grow up and I have watched my friend get lost in drugs again and again. I have been battling with stopping my friendship with her for a very long time. I cannot sit back and watch her do drugs and ruin her life. Her head is in the clouds and no one is important to her anymore, not even her child. Her child is what has kept our friendship alive for so long. I feel so bad for the baby and wanted to be around for her. I always become the babysitter when we hang out, My "friend" always dissapears on the phone with her boyfriend when I come over. I have held on and kept telling myself that she needs a good friend in her life and she's just having a hard time...yada yada.
The first time I went wedding dress shopping, she didn't show up until the very end. Literally. I was done trying on dresses. She lives DOWN THE STREET! UGH. I let it go. Yesterday I went back to that same shop and this girl flaked on me again. She had confirmed coming the night before and the morning of. She also knew for a whole entire week. I get it if you don't want to come or can't but why can't I get a call or text saying so? Instead she ignores my calls and texts. I am very veryyy hurt by this. This is really important to me and she has been my best friend and it ment a lot to me for her to be there. I can't count on her ever. So I sent her a text saying I was done being her friend.
I needed to get this out.. I have kept it inside for too long. I feel free from this friendship. It was always so stressful for me but I didn't want to give up on her..It's just sad to have to re-evaluate a friend at a time like this. I'm getting married in 7 months! I wanted her to be apart of this.
I wanted to write this down so I remember how I felt and why I made the decision I did. Losing a friend is a sad thing, but I do have amazing friends (like Mia and Chelsea) that are always here for me. Things like this make you appreciate your real friends even more.
I have a best friend who is almost exaclty this, minus the kid and minus the heavey drug use. Just minimal drug use, dates drug abusing guys, and drinks way too much. She was married at 18, divorced at 18. Two years later, when I was getting married, she wouldn't come to anything!! She also missed me trying on dresses and flaked on everything, even when I was trying GIVE her presents! I've known her since 3rd grade. It hurt my feelings and I had my other best friend who I'd only known since high school be my MOH because I knew she'd be more responsible. Anyway, I wanted to stop being this girl's friend. She's obviously a very self-centered person. HOWEVER, looking back,I think she was so unhappy with her own life, it would have been impossible for her to celebrate the happiness in my life. I'm glad I didn't end my friendship with her. I still want to shake her and say "What are you doing with you life!!!" all the time, but I'm glad we can support each other no matter what. So that's my long way of saying I can relate and I hope everything works out, and don't be surprised if she doesn't come through on anything related to your wedding, unfortunatly some people are just that miserable.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for sharing that! I'm sorry you can relate to this story..you seem very sweet and no one deserves someone being like this to them.
ReplyDeleteAlas, our friendship is over and she doesn't even care. I'm better off.
as much as it hurts, getting rid of that toxic person will improve your life so much. a real friend wouldn't constantly let you down and take you for granted as much as she has. it's already going to be stressful as is planning your wedding without her adding to it. i just feel sorry that her poor daughter will suffer because of her poor choices.
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